Are You a “Libidinous Romantic Lover” or a “Moderate Romantic”?
A recent study has identified four distinct types of “romantic lovers” among individuals in the early stages of a relationship. Conducted by Adam Bode, a PhD candidate in biological anthropology at the Australian National University in Canberra, this research analyzed thousands of responses from the 2022 “Romantic Love Survey,” which Bode created alongside Professor Phil Kavanagh.
The participants, aged 18 to 25, reported being in love with a romantic partner, and the sample was narrowed down to those who had been in love for 23 months or less. Bode’s findings, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, classified romantic lovers into four “clusters”: mild, moderate, libidinous, or intense.
- Libidinous Lovers: Less than 10% of respondents fell into this category, characterized by an extremely high frequency of sexual activity—averaging ten times a week, with some reporting up to 20 times. This group also tended to have the longest duration of being in love and was slightly more likely to be male. Bode noted, “The UK had relatively low levels of libidinous romantic lovers, suggesting that Brits may not be enjoying themselves as much in the bedroom compared to individuals in other countries.” Interestingly, Greece emerged as the country with the highest proportion of libidinous lovers.
- Mild Romantic Lovers: About one in five participants were categorized as mild romantic lovers. These individuals exhibited the lowest levels of intensity, obsessive thinking, commitment, and sexual frequency.
- Moderate Lovers: Comprising 40% of respondents, moderate lovers were characterized by low intensity, relatively low obsessive thinking, high commitment, and moderate sexual frequency.
- Intense Lovers: Roughly 29% of respondents identified as intense lovers, displaying the highest levels of intensity, obsessive thinking, commitment, and relatively high sexual frequency. Notably, 60% of this group were female.
The Nature of Romantic Love
Bode’s study defines romantic love as a motivational state typically associated with a desire for long-term mating with a specific individual. He posits that this emotional state likely evolved from maternal love, which emerged around two million years ago in human history. He explained, “In maternal love, it makes sense for a mother to think obsessively about her infant to ensure their care. In romantic love, however, the role of obsessive thinking is less clear.”
He further commented, “Some argue that obsessive thinking aids in the formation of long-term relationships. I believe it may also promote fidelity and help maintain focus on that special someone. However, the precise function of this obsessive thinking remains a mystery.”
Bode suggests that variations in psychological traits are a common feature of evolution, yet it is still unclear why these different types of romantic lovers continue to enhance survival and reproduction. He described libidinous romantic lovers, engaging in sexual activity up to 20 times a week, as an “unusual group.” He elaborated, “In our evolutionary past, having sex three to four times a week would have sufficed for ensuring pregnancy.”
He speculated, “My assumption is that the heightened sexual activity in this group may not be directly tied to romantic love but might instead be a by-product of an underlying high sex drive within the population. Some individuals have exceptionally high sex drives, which could manifest in romantic love when both partners are eager to engage sexually.”
Finally, Bode noted peculiar traits among this group, including increased rates of tobacco smoking and higher spending since falling in love, suggesting they may possess underlying characteristics that drive their elevated sexual frequency.
