In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.
Are your friends racking up large tabs at the bar and trying to split the bill evenly? Is your partner overspending from your joint account? Whatever your financial quandary, feel free to email us anonymously, and the The i Paper’s money and business team will do our utmost to provide guidance.
This week’s dilemma is outlined below. If you have a situation you’d like us to address, please reach out at [email protected].
Dilemma
A few weeks ago, I switched to a new bills provider and was pleasantly surprised to receive a £50 gift card as a token of appreciation. Initially, it felt like an unexpected bonus—one of those delightful surprises that life sometimes offers. After a less-than-stellar experience with my previous provider, making this switch felt like a win on multiple levels.
However, I now find myself in a bit of a conundrum. My husband and I have always maintained a balanced approach to our finances; we share everything, from our mortgage to our bank account. Yet, this gift card feels inherently personal to me.
I’m grappling with whether it would be selfish to keep this gift card for myself. My rationale for wanting to retain it is that the card is for a high street store that doesn’t particularly excite him as it does me. He did make a light-hearted comment about me sharing it with him when we chose the new provider, and I know he would appreciate it if I did, but part of me believes I’ve ‘earned’ it in a way.
After all, my husband didn’t technically put in the effort to secure this reward, so why should he benefit from it? Another aspect of my thought process is, “It’s just £50; it won’t significantly impact our overall financial situation.” Yet, if I give it away, will I end up regretting that I didn’t treat myself?
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On the flip side, if I decide not to share it, does that make me appear selfish? I keep weighing the pros and cons, and the truth is, I’m uncertain whether I’m being practical or a bit petty. While the monetary value of the voucher seems trivial, the emotional weight attached to it feels far more significant than just £50. What should I do?
Emily Braeger, The i Paper’s money reporter, replies
When dealing with ‘free’ rewards, it’s crucial to recognize that while a voucher might feel like a windfall, it still represents your financial autonomy. You have earned it in your own way—even if it’s simply by switching service providers or entering a competition in your name. That sense of ownership is important.
However, I understand why you might question whether keeping the voucher is selfish or fair. If you and your husband manage your finances together, he may be puzzled if you choose to keep the reward for yourself.
If there’s something you’ve been longing to buy, especially if it’s a higher-priced item or something you’ve previously mentioned to him, he may actually be pleased to see you treating yourself.
There’s no hard and fast rule that states the voucher must be shared, and it’s perfectly acceptable to feel a sense of pride in keeping it for yourself. From a purely financial viewpoint, it’s essential not to let this issue create tension in your relationship. Ask yourself—is a £50 voucher truly worth causing discord?
If you’re worried about how he might react if he finds out later, consider using the voucher for something both of you can enjoy, like a new kitchen gadget or a decorative item for your home if you live together.
Ultimately, whether you opt to share the voucher or keep it, the key is to do what feels right for you, both financially and emotionally. Have an open and honest conversation about it to prevent any lingering awkwardness. If you decide to keep it, enjoy it without guilt. If you choose to share it, do so out of generosity, not obligation. The goal should always be financial harmony and mutual understanding, not sacrifice or resentment.
