From Chaos to Control: My Journey of Transformation
As a child growing up in Macclesfield, I faced the harsh reality of homelessness, constantly moving from one temporary shelter to another. One night I would find myself in a hostel, and the next, I would be sleeping on a friend’s sofa. Stability was an elusive concept for me.
During this tumultuous time, I struggled with my education and ultimately dropped out of school at a young age. It wasn’t that I lacked intelligence; rather, my circumstances had already taught me that I needed to navigate life on my own. By the age of 16, I had no GCSEs and no clear direction for my future.
However, looking back, that instability equipped me with invaluable strengths. It fostered resilience within me and ignited an insatiable hunger for success. With no apparent path ahead, I turned to fitness as my anchor. It was the one aspect of my life I could control amidst the turmoil. I trained obsessively, yet I still yearned for the structure that training alone could not provide. This search for discipline led me to join the Royal Air Force.
I served in the II Squadron of the Royal Air Force Regiment for four years. In 2010, I was deployed to Afghanistan as part of an elite airborne unit responsible for force protection and frontline security. The experience was intense, filled with long patrols, high-stakes operations, and the relentless pressure of being in a combat zone. The military instilled in me a sense of discipline, resilience, and a robust mindset. However, upon leaving, I returned to a world devoid of that structure, which was a jarring adjustment.
After my military service, I took a job as a personal trainer, but fate had other plans. A fortuitous introduction led me to DJing. It was a serendipitous turn of events; one of my friends introduced me to some DJ equipment at an after-party, and soon I was hooked. Before long, I was being booked for gigs, and one of my first significant breaks came from performing at the iconic Egg in London after winning a competition. From there, my career skyrocketed.
DJing was an exhilarating experience—the energy of the crowd, the pulsating music, and the late nights created an electrifying atmosphere. I thrived on the adrenaline of being in control of the room. However, this vibrant nightlife came with its own set of challenges: alcohol, drugs, and a complete lack of structure.
I played at renowned clubs across Europe, including Watergate in Berlin, Pacha in Barcelona, and Claire in Amsterdam. Yet, the lifestyle took a toll on me. One night while performing in Romania, I drank excessively and was kicked off the decks in front of a packed crowd. Instead of treating it as a wake-up call, I continued down the same path. Nights of heavy drinking and drug use became the norm, as I increasingly turned to cocaine to keep the party going.
Living in the Shadows of Addiction
During this chaotic period, I was still training and managing to hold down a job, but I was slowly losing my sense of self. Each night blurred into the next, and the consequences of my actions began to catch up with me. I would wake up with no recollection of the previous night, my bank account drained, my body unfit, and my relationships crumbling.
I kept convincing myself that I had everything under control, but the reality was starkly different. I found myself in reckless, humiliating, and dangerous situations due to my addiction to alcohol and cocaine. After a particularly wild gig in Sweden, I spiraled into an after-party that got completely out of hand. I missed my flight, was inebriated for hours, and ultimately lost it. In a blackout state, I threw a hotel room TV out of the window and wreaked havoc in the room. The aftermath was a wrecked space and an overwhelming sense of shame.
Confronting the Consequences
Another incident occurred during a stag do in Madrid. After a night filled with drinking and drug use, I thought it would be entertaining to set off a fire extinguisher in the hotel hallway. This act triggered an emergency evacuation, with alarms blaring and guests forced onto the street in the middle of the night. What was supposed to be a fun trip turned into chaos, all because I couldn’t rein in my impulses.
On another occasion, I found myself in a fight after a night of heavy drinking. I woke up in a hospital bed with a shattered nose and the need for surgery. These incidents were just a fraction of the chaos I put myself through. The reality is that countless other nights were filled with fights, arrests, and lost friendships.
A Moment of Reckoning
The real turning point came in July 2021 after a gig in Nottingham. I had vowed not to drink that night, but I succumbed to temptation. I had one drink, which spiraled into a blackout. I woke up in a hospital, covered in blood, with a black eye and a head injury from nearly overdosing on cocaine. That was my lowest point. My family was devastated, having witnessed my downward spiral for years, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t just another reckless night; it was a near brush with death. I realized then that I had to change my life or risk losing it entirely.
Even after that wake-up call, I initially struggled to break free from my addiction. I learned that addiction extended beyond substances; it was tied to deeper issues I had yet to confront. When I finally made the decision to change at the age of 34, it was far from easy. There were no shortcuts.
Rebuilding Through Fitness
Returning to fitness became my lifeline. This time, however, it wasn’t about achieving aesthetic goals; it was about survival. Every run became a battle against my past, and every rep symbolized my strength to overcome my darkest moments. Yet, fitness alone wasn’t sufficient. I needed to overhaul my mindset, habits, and identity.
In my journey, I noticed other men grappling with similar challenges. They appeared successful on the outside but were falling apart internally, trapped in cycles of substance abuse and chaos. This realization motivated me to start my own company, Willers Fitness, in August 2022, at the age of 35. My approach is not your typical “get shredded in 12 weeks” program; it serves as a blueprint for comprehensive transformation—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
- One client came to me after struggling with cocaine addiction for years. He felt lost and believed he had no control over his life. His business was failing, and previous attempts to quit had been in vain.
- We focused on creating structure and implementing small, manageable changes. Through training, he discovered discipline and a renewed sense of purpose. Over the course of nine months, he became completely sober, fitter than ever, and developed a transformative mindset.
For me, witnessing such transformations is deeply rewarding. I understand what it feels like to be lost and trapped, having squandered over a decade to addiction and self-destruction. What began as casual partying spiraled into a lifestyle of dependency. I lived for weekends, chasing highs and blackouts. By the time I reached my thirties, I found myself utterly adrift.
Reflecting on the Past
I look back and see a person who was completely lost, and I recognize that if I hadn’t made a change, I wouldn’t be here today. This is why I share my story—not to glorify my past, but to illustrate the depths one can fall to and the possibility of redemption.
Now, as a 37-year-old living in London with my wife, my life is the polar opposite of what it used to be. It is structured, disciplined, and fulfilling. I am dedicated to helping others regain control of their lives, just as I did. My past may have been riddled with chaos, but my present and future are defined by purpose and strength.
