Embracing the Journey of Menopause
While I wholeheartedly support discussions about menopause—after all, raising awareness about what women experience has certainly been a positive development—it sometimes feels like the topic has become overwhelmingly vast. We are inundated with advice and opinions from anyone with a platform, making it challenging to sift through the noise and determine what is genuinely helpful.
Countless celebrities, from both sides of the Atlantic, have jumped onto the menopause bandwagon, sharing their personal experiences and offering advice, while some even attempt to market products they claim can help ease our struggles. This wave of commentary often feels disingenuous. I’ve even encountered bloggers, podcasters, and well-known figures who label menopause as a “blessing” or even liken it to a “superpower.” Really? For many women navigating menopause—juggling demanding jobs after sleepless nights, battling embarrassing hot flashes, or dealing with sudden waves of emotion—it hardly feels like a superpower in the slightest.
I initially believed I was managing my menopause quite well. I experienced no hot flashes, but I struggled to articulate my thoughts, faced persistent insomnia, made impulsive decisions, and found myself tearing up at the slightest provocation. I thought this was all just part of the journey. Ultimately, it was the insomnia that prompted me to seek help from my doctor. When I inquired about hormone replacement therapy (HRT), she dismissed the idea, stating I hadn’t had a period for five years, and instead prescribed antidepressants that left me feeling like a zombie.
It wasn’t until a fellow novelist friend shared the remarkable benefits she experienced from HRT and encouraged me to contact a private clinic that I reconsidered my approach. “I thought all these symptoms were just part of the process,” I told the doctor at the clinic. “They are,” she replied, “but you don’t have to endure them.”
Thanks to that HRT patch I now wear twice weekly, I feel like a new woman. I am astonished at how easily I can engage in conversations without losing my train of thought. Everyday worries no longer spiral into irrational anxieties. I’ve rediscovered a sense of energy and enthusiasm for life. Both my friend who directed me to the clinic and the doctor there truly gave me my life back—no exaggeration.
I appreciate the surge of menopause discussions online to some extent. It has diminished the stigma and allowed for more open conversations with the women in my life. This much-needed dialogue has demystified what was once considered a taboo topic, reducing women to caricatures of angry, sweat-drenched beings—the punchline of “the change” jokes for far too long. Open conversations can effectively dismantle much of the fear associated with this transition.
Having supportive friends makes all the difference. I never hesitated to reach out to someone I knew would provide me with honest, compassionate advice, reminding me to take a deep breath, gain perspective, and understand that this, too, shall pass. The following week, I found myself giving her the same pep talk when she needed reassurance.
Many of us have worried that our occasional lapses in memory were early signs of dementia. When I’ve asked around, the response has been overwhelmingly relatable, as these menopause-related issues often come up during dinners with friends. It’s unsettling when your thoughts abruptly stall, especially in high-pressure situations like live television. Trust me, I’ve been there and learned the hard way.
Reflections on My Journey
My struggle with insomnia continues to be a work in progress. The pricey capsules I purchased after hearing a celebrity rave about them were ineffective, but a simple magnesium spray recommended by a friend worked wonders. I learned that a high price tag does not guarantee results. Ladies, listen to your friends; they are driven by genuine concern rather than financial gain.
While it’s commendable to have candid discussions about menopause, clarity can become muddled when we realize that many influencers are compensated to promote specific products. The menopause industry is booming, with countless women desperate for solutions to alleviate their symptoms—sweats, mood swings, sleep disturbances, and more. The myriad challenges we face have created ample opportunities for others to profit.
For me, menopause doesn’t equate to a superpower, but I have discovered a profound strength in navigating this journey collectively with my peers. We share our insights, support one another, and provide a safe space to vent our frustrations. This phase of life showcases the true essence of female solidarity. Perhaps this is our genuine superpower, our blessing, a compensation prize of sorts for the trials of menstruation, pregnancy, and now the significant “M”: our remarkable ability to connect with one another on such a deep, primal level. Women’s friendships—what an incredibly formidable, powerful, and beautiful force they are.
Same Time Next Week by Milly Johnson is out now from Simon and Schuster UK, HB £16.99
This Week I Have Been…
Celebrating… my 61st trip around the sun. I’ve always loved birthdays; I indulge in cake and champagne and treat myself to something I desire but don’t necessarily need. I find it easier to spend on others, but I’m gradually learning to indulge in myself as well. After all, I work hard for my earnings, and there’s always another handbag to consider. I rationalize my purchases by reminding myself that I’m contributing to an industry.
Interviewing… I was asked to channel my inner Michael Parkinson and interview Jane McDonald and her friend Sue Ravey at an event to raise money for Wakefield hospice, in front of an audience of 500 people in Jane’s hometown. It pushed me out of my comfort zone, but stepping beyond my safe harbor is essential; you never know what you’re capable of until you do. The evening was a success, raising over £26,000 for the charity, making all the nerves and stress worthwhile. Both Jane and Sue were lovely and chatty, which made my job much easier.
Watching… Reacher. Oh my goodness, what a towering presence he is! He certainly fits the role better than Tom Cruise did, though he might be too handsome compared to how Lee Child originally envisioned the character. But trust me, I’m not complaining one bit.
Signing… It’s my primary book launch season, which means I’ve been traveling across the country, signing copies of my newly released books. It truly is a privilege to have people waiting in line to meet me, seeking my signature and wanting photos as keepsakes. Despite this, I still struggle with imposter syndrome.
