A Day of Solitude in Ibiza
Sitting in the warm embrace of the spring sunshine, outside a stunning restaurant, I savor a large glass of vino Rosado paired with succulent chuleta de cordero. The picturesque view of a whitewashed church in San Mateo, Ibiza, enhances my experience, making me feel as if I’ve stumbled upon a slice of paradise. Here I am, completely alone in Ibiza, and it’s exactly where I need to be. As I indulge in my meal, I relish the absence of interruptions—no one is asking questions or expressing dissatisfaction with the food. Instead, I can focus entirely on my meal and the pages of a Nora Ephron book, enjoying the art of people-watching from behind my stylish shades.
There’s something liberating about being able to order exactly what I desire without considering the preferences of three children back in the UK. If they were here with me, our dining experience would likely consist of pan-con-tomate in a local cafe—delicious in its own right, and one that I truly cherish, alongside my beloved kids. We’ve shared many joyful family holidays in Ibiza, but this time, my decision to come alone stems from a simple desire for a break. I took the initiative to book my flights, secure a charming Airbnb, and rent a vibrant orange Fiat 500 for a five-day solo escapade.
As I departed, the kids were understandably upset, while my husband, with a supportive nod, simply said, “Okay,” and dropped me off at Bristol airport. He recognized my need for a break and had full confidence in his ability to manage the kids—aged 14, 11, and seven—during my absence. From the moment I stepped out of the family car, a wave of freedom washed over me. It’s amazing how even Bristol airport can feel glamorous and exciting when you’re navigating it solo. I enjoyed a glass of wine before the flight and read an entire magazine on the plane—small pleasures that, as a parent, make me feel like a free spirit once more.
Driving my bright orange Fiat 500 around Ibiza, exploring its beautiful beaches, eclectic restaurants, and quaint shops during breathtaking sunsets, fills me with joy. This isn’t my first solo journey; I’ve previously spent an entire week in Ibiza alone, nestled in a cozy Airbnb near Benniras. I also took a rejuvenating trip to a health spa hotel in Tenerife in January 2020, just before the world changed with lockdowns. Looking back, I’m grateful for those moments of self-care!
For me, stepping away from family is not an indulgence but a necessity. It rejuvenates my spirit and reminds me of my individuality as a woman beyond the role of a mother. Sadly, not everyone seems to understand this. Recently, Frankie Bridges faced criticism for leaving her kids at home to enjoy a holiday with her friend Fleur East, being labeled “the worst wife and mother.” I, too, have encountered negative reactions when sharing my solo trips with others. During school runs, fellow mums often express incredulity at the thought of traveling alone, only to follow up with a wistful, “I wish I could do that,” as they list their own reasons for feeling unable to do so, suggesting I’m somehow neglecting my family.
On social media, the responses are mixed. Those who know me well tend to be supportive, recognizing that taking solo trips aligns with my brand, aptly named Selfish Mother. My philosophy centers on the belief that we must prioritize our own well-being to effectively care for others. Yet, I often receive messages laced with envy, questioning how I manage to afford such trips or why I haven’t prioritized a family vacation instead. I remind them that my children are fortunate to have traveled extensively, with relatives in California and southern Spain providing ample holiday destinations.
- Money Matters: I don’t possess a treasure trove of spare cash for solo trips. I may be a somewhat irresponsible spender, occasionally booking easyJet flights at the expense of paying an electricity bill on time or putting a rental car on credit—still paying it off a year later.
- Understanding My Choices: Explaining my choices feels strange. Ultimately, I simply adore solo travel. It clears my mind and revitalizes my spirit.
Interestingly, it seems more acceptable to travel solo for work rather than for pleasure, as if it’s a step too far to indulge ourselves in such luxurious experiences. An Instagram reel circulating with over 100,000 likes encapsulates this sentiment perfectly: “On my deathbed, I doubt I’ll say, ‘I wish I’d traveled less.’” I wholeheartedly agree. We must shift our mindset regarding women who travel alone, like me, or with friends, like Frankie Bridges. If there’s someone at home, or a reliable support network for single parents, why shouldn’t we nourish ourselves with some time away?
The kids will manage just fine without us! Taking time for ourselves is restorative and necessary. Plus, the bonus is being able to order whatever we desire at a restaurant and linger at the table long enough to truly savor the experience. When we return home, we do so rejuvenated, ready to be the best versions of ourselves as parents—perhaps with a sun-kissed glow as a delightful bonus. Now that’s what I call a win-win!
