Esther Ghey’s Heartbreaking Journey
On Saturday, February 11, 2023, Esther Ghey awoke to what seemed to be a perfect day. After a challenging week marked by tumultuous interactions with her youngest child, Brianna, who was struggling with her mental health, Esther received a heartfelt text of gratitude from her 16-year-old daughter. This small gesture felt like a glimmer of hope in their fraught relationship, prompting Esther to tackle her weekend chores with renewed energy. She even took a brief detour to her mother’s house for a comforting cup of tea. Later, a second message from Brianna arrived: she was going out to meet a friend. Considering her daughter’s recent struggles, this felt monumental.
“I knew I had to keep my excitement in check, as I didn’t want to push her away, but inside, I was overjoyed. Could this day possibly get any better?” Esther recalls in her newly published memoir, Under A Pink Sky. And indeed, it did. Brianna, who had long been socially anxious, managed to board public transport on her own despite her fears. She even sent Esther a photo of her feet on the bus—a moment of triumph that Esther couldn’t wait to share with her mother and her elder daughter, Alisha, who is now 20. “It was like a miracle. I felt such relief,” she reflects.
Little did they know, however, that these hours would be the last of their perfect day. Tragically, Esther would lose Brianna not once, but twice: first to the horrific circumstances of a brutal murder that shocked their family and made headlines across the UK, and second, to the gradual erosion of their relationship due to Brianna’s escalating addiction to the online world.
Brianna was lured to Culcheth Park in Warrington by two fellow schoolmates, both 15 years old, whose names Esther chooses not to disclose to avoid giving them notoriety. The girl, reportedly excited by the prospect of murder, was sentenced to a minimum of 22 years, while the boy received a 20-year sentence. Their actions were premeditated and chillingly calculated; a handwritten plan detailing their intentions was discovered in the girl’s room. This was not their first attempt at violence; they previously tried to overdose Brianna with Ibuprofen, believing it to be MDMA, but she survived. In recovered messages, the boy suggested increasing the dose and hiding it in a McDonald’s milkshake. Alarmingly, they had other intended victims but failed to lure them in.
In the wake of Brianna’s tragic death, much of the media focus centered around her transgender identity, with the court noting that transphobia played a role in the circumstances of her murder. However, for Esther, who is now 38, Brianna’s transgender identity was merely one small aspect of her life, overshadowed by a larger issue: her daughter’s dependence on her mobile phone.
It all began in September 2018 when Brianna, then known as Brett, was given her first mobile phone as she started secondary school—a rite of passage that Esther had also afforded to Alisha. “I thought it was harmless,” she recounts. “It was a safety measure once they began walking to school.” Little did she realize that this device would soon destabilize Brianna’s life. “It’s tragically ironic,” Esther writes.
As proactive and protective parents, Esther and her husband Wes implemented parental controls on their Wi-Fi, kept track of their children’s passcodes, and regularly checked their phones, even recovering deleted content. They had numerous discussions about internet safety, emphasizing the importance of not communicating with strangers. Yet, Brianna, later diagnosed with ADHD and autism, developed an unhealthy attachment to her phone.
Before long, the negative impacts became evident: Brianna faced relentless bullying through WhatsApp, was exposed to dangerous online challenges, and encountered troubling self-harm content—issues exacerbated by the algorithms designed to keep young users engaged. The situation spiraled, making it increasingly difficult for Esther to remove the phone without facing violent backlash. “I can’t recall the first hole punched in the wall, nor the last,” she admits. Brianna even physically assaulted her mother in moments of rage.
The murder of Brianna on February 11, 2023, was a devastating culmination of these struggles. The pandemic intensified the situation, prompting the family to seek help from CAMHS and other resources, but nothing seemed effective. Brianna isolated herself in her room, creating “Get Ready With Me” videos, hoping to garner a following. Esther discovered her daughter’s troubling consumption of pornography, unaware at the time that Brianna was also binge-watching pro-anorexia content. Ultimately, Brianna was hospitalized in 2022 due to an eating disorder, as Wes discovered a black bin liner filled with concealed and rotting food beneath her bed.
Ironically, what would typically be a parent’s worst nightmare—a child’s hospitalization—offered a brief respite from the relentless torment of the phone. “In the hospital, she had no Wi-Fi, no social media. She texted me that she loved and missed me, and it felt like I had my child back. We could actually converse. It was a precious week,” Esther recalls. But once discharged, Brianna quickly returned to her screen addiction.
Meanwhile, across town, the girl who would eventually murder Brianna was developing her own unsettling online habits, unbeknownst to her own mother, who worked as a teacher. What started as an interest in crime documentaries morphed into an obsession with real-life murderers and their horrific acts. As the algorithm fed her more violent content, she delved into the dark web in search of disturbing torture videos. In chilling WhatsApp messages, she fantasized about cutting out someone’s heart to cook and eat.
“I truly believe children are being brainwashed,” Esther tells The i Paper. “Young people are not necessarily seeking out this content at first, but the algorithms take over. The goal is to keep them engaged for as long as possible; it’s the attention economy at work.” While Esther would never claim that Brianna’s phone addiction caused her death, she believes it made her daughter’s final years “miserable” and created an insurmountable barrier between them. Now, two years later, she is determined to advocate for change.
Esther argues that technology companies should design phones with safety as a priority, much like seat belts in cars. She advocates for strict age verification measures, suggesting a complete social media ban for anyone under 16. She envisions implementing Green Cross Code-style rules for children or a test akin to Cycling Proficiency to ensure responsible usage.
“Things cannot continue as they are,” she asserts. “One day, we will look back at this era and wonder how we allowed these tech companies to manipulate our children’s lives.” What would she advise herself now if she could turn back time before giving her children phones? “I would hand them a brick phone. The only answer is to prevent them from accessing social media altogether.”
In recent weeks, Esther found herself needing to download Facebook to organize a work event and was startled to discover that she was habitually opening the app. “I am literally campaigning against this! The pull of addiction is so strong—how can young people possibly resist?” she reflects. She has also faced online abuse and criticism regarding her parenting, particularly within parenting forums.
Another vital aspect of the solution lies in fostering mental resilience in children. Esther passionately advocates for mindfulness—the practice of being fully present and aware of one’s surroundings—rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Though mindfulness has become a buzzword in contemporary wellness, Esther embodies its transformative power.
In the early 2000s, she was a single mother of two, struggling with addiction to amphetamines while her children were at home. However, through mindfulness and a commitment to change, she rebuilt her life, returning to school and establishing a career. “That time in my life is a source of deep regret, and I’ve spent years trying to forgive myself,” she shares.
Now, Esther has found a way to forgive the individuals who took Brianna from her, as well as their parents. Many would question how she can exhibit such compassion. “I forgive them because I refuse to let their actions dictate the rest of my life, or Alisha’s life,” she explains. “This forgiveness is a selfish act, aimed at freeing myself from hate.” It’s a level of empathy that many would struggle to achieve.
After the sentencing, Esther stood outside the courthouse and delivered a poignant statement that included a message for the killers’ parents. “They, too, have lost a child. They must live with the knowledge of what their child has done.” Remarkably, Esther has since formed a weekly coffee meet-up with the girl’s mother. “She is an ordinary woman, and I’m grateful to have met her. It’s easy to construct narratives about people, but I wanted her to know that I don’t blame her for her daughter’s actions. I understand how difficult it can be once children reach a certain age, and through our conversations, I’ve gained insight into her life as well,” Esther explains.
She credits mindfulness—and the unwavering support of Wes—for her ability to endure the hardest times. It’s a gift she hopes to pass on to primary-aged children, creating a legacy for Brianna. “Perhaps if both Brianna and I had been equipped with these tools earlier in life, we could have avoided the suffering we endured as teenagers,” she reflects. To honor Brianna’s memory, the family has established Peace & Mind to fund mindfulness training. The Warrington Project has already attracted 100 local teachers, and the program is being implemented in schools.
Esther has just begun receiving feedback. “It’s been fantastic; I initially thought only primary schools would be receptive, but secondary schools are keen as well,” she beams.
In looking back on Brianna’s short life, Esther finds that it’s the ordinary moments that linger with her the most: buttering toast for breakfast, walking to nursery, or watching Sleeping Beauty on a little pink television. Everything Brianna owned was pink; she dreamed of a pink car adorned with eyelashes on the headlights and was laid to rest in pink pajamas and a Barbie T-shirt. “I would give anything to relive those moments,” she expresses. “Our family album is filled with precious memories that I wish I could revisit.”
For now, Brianna lives on in the pink skies and cherry blossoms that Esther notices, as she hopes that everyone who reads her book will think of Brianna when they see a pink sky. Tragically, she also remains present in the digital archives of their final exchanges. On that fateful day, after Brianna boarded the bus and sent her mother the photo, she expressed her fear, to which Esther replied, conveying her pride in Brianna’s bravery. Yet, she fears that, due to the single tick on the message, Brianna never saw it.
Under a Pink Sky: A Mother’s Story of Love, Loss, and the Power of Forgiveness by Esther Ghey is available now (published by Penguin).
