The Career Struggles of Mothers: A Personal Journey
Before embracing motherhood, Sam Kennedy Christian was deeply immersed in her professional life. As a communications manager for a charity, she dedicated herself to her full-time role, enduring a two-hour daily commute to her London office, often working late hours, and spending a significant portion of her time traveling internationally. “I derived a substantial part of my identity from my work back then,” she reflects.
Now, at 39 years old and a mother of two children aged six and two, her career has taken an unexpected turn, largely dictated by the demands of parenting. Like seven percent of women, as highlighted by the campaign group Pregnant Then Screwed, Sam faced redundancy during her first pregnancy. Although she found another position, it was at a lower level. The shift to a four-day hybrid workweek and a commitment to leaving the office on time meant less visibility with her managers, making it challenging for her to advance.
Residing in Kent, Sam transitioned into the public sector, hoping to reignite her career. However, this move came with a salary increase and an overwhelming workload. Her employer’s refusal to accommodate flexible working led to burnout. Faced with the impending arrival of her second child, she realized that her job was incompatible with her family’s needs. “I was contemplating the future and school, recognizing that this job just wouldn’t work,” she admits. Eventually, she made the bold decision to leave her position and started her own business as a career consultant, focusing on helping women navigate similar career challenges. While she finds fulfillment in her work, she grapples with the fact that her income is significantly lower than her husband’s, reshaping their family dynamics.
“I love what I do, but I often struggle with not being able to contribute equally financially and with the disproportionate share of parenting responsibilities that falls on me,” she shares. “This isn’t the reality I envisioned while growing up, believing that women could have it all. A part of me wonders if I will return to a more substantial role in the future, especially considering the gaps in my pension contributions. Yet, I remain acutely aware that I have yet to experience the challenges of raising teenagers.”
Sam’s experiences resonate with many mothers across the country, who, overwhelmed by the relentless demands of parenting, find themselves pushed out of rewarding careers due to the inflexibility of their workplaces. They also face hurdles in securing affordable and reliable childcare options.
Impact of Motherhood on Careers
A survey conducted by the campaign group Careers After Babies in 2022, which gathered responses from 1,000 women, reveals that 98 percent express a desire to work after having children, yet the existing workplace structures make this aspiration difficult to achieve. The survey indicated that 85 percent of women had exited the full-time workforce within three years of their first child, and 19 percent had altogether left the job market.
Among those who remained in employment, the consequences were immediate. The survey found a staggering 36 percent drop in women at management levels, alongside a 44 percent increase in transitions to administrative roles. This suggests that many women are relinquishing their hard-earned senior positions and returning to the workforce in lower-paying jobs as a means to balance work and family life. The gender pay gap remains a pressing issue: it is nonexistent at age 30 but escalates to 14.9 percent by age 40, and it may take up to a decade for a woman’s career to recover following childbirth, according to Jessica Heagren, founder of Careers After Babies. “For many, it feels as though they’re starting from scratch, which is unfortunately the reality for a lot of women,” she notes.
The recent shift away from hybrid working arrangements is further complicating matters for women. A Deloitte report found that over a quarter (27 percent) of women who were required to return to the office full-time reported adverse effects on their mental health, while 24 percent indicated a decline in their productivity. Nearly half (44 percent) sought to reduce their working hours in response to these changes. This trend is unsurprising, considering that a corresponding study revealed that a significant percentage of women living with partners and children still bear the majority of childcare responsibilities.
The Modern Families Index, published recently by nursery chain Bright Horizons, also highlighted a decline in women’s perception of support from their employers, dropping from 77 percent in 2023 to 68 percent early this year. Moreover, 80 percent of working parents reported feeling too stressed to concentrate fully on their jobs.
As women face these ongoing challenges, economists warn that the newly introduced higher National Insurance rate by Chancellor Rachel Reeves in the autumn Budget is likely to disproportionately affect lower-paid positions, many of which are held by women. This could exacerbate the difficulties mothers face in maintaining their employment.
Dr. Gosia Ciesielska, a professor of management and organization studies at Sheffield Business School, emphasizes that employers have a responsibility to explore ways to accommodate the needs of their employees. “Companies must recognize that our personal and professional lives are interconnected and that they have a duty of care towards their staff,” she advises.
The lack of flexibility in today’s workplace is a significant issue, often forcing women with years of professional experience to either abandon or deprioritize their careers. Natalie Ormond, 42, from Leeds, spent 14 years working as a social worker before leaving the profession in 2022 to launch an online retail business. Although she was able to negotiate flexible working arrangements after her two maternity leaves, other challenges arose. “The hours were often unpredictable, and clients would invariably be in crisis when my children were sick and needed to be picked up from nursery,” she recalls, noting that there was an expectation for her to manage a full caseload within a three-day workweek, which hindered her chances for promotion.
Initially, Natalie believed that transitioning to full-time entrepreneurship would solve her problems, but the reality proved more challenging than anticipated. “In many respects, it’s far more difficult,” she explains. “Without an employer, I am the default caregiver if my children fall ill. My husband earns a higher salary, so my work often takes a backseat, limiting my ability to grow the business.” When her sales declined, she turned to part-time work for a charity, utilizing her social work skills, and also took on mentoring roles for students.
However, Natalie’s income and pension contributions have significantly diminished, which has adversely affected her self-esteem and her relationship with her husband. “Even though I understand the practicality of our roles, it can be frustrating. I feel guilty that when he received a substantial promotion, I wasn’t as thrilled or supportive as I should have been, primarily because my own career and earnings are not where I want them to be,” she admits.
The Long-Term Implications
The choices women make regarding their careers can lead to long-lasting consequences. “The longer a parent remains away from the workforce, the more it impacts their income, overall pension savings, and future job opportunities,” Dr. Ciesielska warns. “A break in one’s career—whether due to maternity leave or part-time roles—exacerbates the gender gap. While maternity leave periods have been recognized in terms of state pensions since 2010, contributions to private pension schemes may not be as accommodating.” According to the Department for Work and Pensions, pension savings losses can amount to £183,000, and the Office for National Statistics reports that women approaching retirement age typically have around 35 percent less savings than their male counterparts.
Dr. Ciesielska also cautions that the coping strategies women adopt are not always beneficial. “Opting for part-time work can be a deliberate choice to achieve a better work-life balance, but it’s also often the only option available to them, which frequently comes with less job security, lower wages, and sometimes poor working conditions,” she explains.
Even those in skilled professions with lucrative salaries can find it challenging to maintain their seniority after becoming mothers due to outdated workplace expectations surrounding long hours and presenteeism. Consequently, many are exploring alternative ways to secure their careers. Research conducted by Dr. Ciesielska, alongside Dr. Grace Gao of Northumbria University and Dr. Ana Lopez from the University of Newcastle, found that Millennial women in the IT sector are increasingly opting for freelancing, digital nomadism, and forming self-built collaborative networks, largely due to inadequate support within a male-dominated industry. Establishing their own businesses has become a common path for mothers in various fields seeking to retain their professional independence. Yet, career advisors warn that this route can be precarious, potentially pushing women further out of the workforce. Balancing employment with self-employment is one viable option.
Charlotte Butterworth-Pool, 34, from West Yorkshire, reached the position of senior manager in clinical trials at a major US pharmaceutical company by her late twenties. However, upon having her daughter, now six, she faced a harsh reality; her company only offered six weeks of paid maternity leave and expected her to remain engaged during her postpartum recovery. When her requests for flexible working were denied, Charlotte made the difficult decision to resign. “It was an incredibly tough choice,” she recalls. “I was in a high-powered role, overseeing teams in both the UK and the US, doing work that I genuinely enjoyed.”
She ultimately secured part-time employment at a small medical trial operator, while simultaneously developing her own business as a doula. “It was a significant step down in terms of responsibility, but it was close to home, and they agreed to a three-day workweek. After three months without work, I accepted the offer. However, my pension contributions have taken a considerable hit compared to my previous role.”
Career coach Laurie McPherson urges overstretched working mothers to carefully consider their long-term financial futures before stepping away from traditional employment. She discourages women from solely pursuing entrepreneurship, advocating for a pragmatic approach that focuses on securing the right employer rather than attempting to change a workplace culture that is unsupportive of parents. “It’s crucial for women to achieve financial independence because unforeseen circumstances can arise at any moment. Always keep your foot in the door,” she advises. “Protect yourself, as we can never predict what challenges lie ahead.”
What Is Being Done to Combat These Issues?
- Shared parental leave is now accessible to both men and women who are having a baby, adopting, fostering, or using a surrogate. Couples can share up to 50 weeks of leave and 37 weeks of pay, theoretically allowing for greater flexibility in returning to work.
- Unfortunately, data from 2023 revealed that fewer than two percent of new parents utilized this option, with 45 percent of fathers still unaware of it. Moreover, those who do take advantage of it are predominantly higher earners, with the top 20 percent making up 60 percent of shared parental leave users.
- Additionally, from April 2024, the Flexible Working Bill will enable employees to request flexible working arrangements from their first day of employment, rather than having to wait until week 26. Employers will be required to justify their responses, moving away from vague ‘business reasons’.
- This initiative was championed by Anna Whitehouse’s #FlexAppeal campaign, which emerged after she experienced a denial for a mere 15-minute shift in her working hours to accommodate nursery pick-up. Her decision to resign from her job was a significant turning point, reflecting that approximately 54,000 women lose their jobs annually after having a baby.
- For those seeking free legal advice regarding their rights, the Working Families hotline is available at 03000120312.
